thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 3, 2008 20:00:27 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 3, 2008 20:00:27 GMT -5
Since Frankie is the only one who knows any of the back story to this, let me give it to you straight. This will be a bit R-Rated (not XXX or anything), so if you're not old enough to read such material, please don't. To start, I work with Heather (and Frankie, by the way) at a restaurant. We started hanging out not that long ago, and hit it off rather well. She was a bit shy, but sweet as can be, and quite cute. I decided that I would pursue her, and see how things went. After a bit, we started dating, and I found out that I was her first kiss. Sweet, and it explained the initial shyness. After three days, she had started barely talking to me, and she never tried to come over and see me. I live alone, whereas she lives with her parents, so it seemed the only way to get any privacy would be at my place. I talked to her, and she said that she was scared, and I told her that I wanted to take it slow, but I didn't want things to be where I only saw her at work- I want to spend time with her on OUR time, not on the clock. She pushed me away, so I broke it off. After a few days, she IMed me and told me she couldn't stop thinking about what an idiot she'd been to break up with me, etc. and asked for another chance. After telling her that the only way it'd happen was if she were to make an honest effort to see me more outside of work, we agreed, and started dating again, against my better judgement. After a few days, we ended up sleeping together (I took her virginity, yes). We ended up spending a grand total of one night together, then she stopped coming over or trying, again. I confronted her about it, again, and again, she pushed me away, so AGAIN, we broke up. After a couple days, we realized we were still crazy about each other. We saw a movie together (Wanted- kick-arse flick, by the way , and she came over, and we slept together, again. And, again, she pushed me away. We just now (20 minutes ago) had another fight, and I told her to leave. She did, and here I am. I'm hurt, my heart's broken, again. She was the first person I offered (and gave) my heart to in two years, since my ex (who I planned on marrying) cheated on me. So I'm back to hating myself for a bit, thinking why did I give her THREE d**n chances, when I only once ever gave someone even a SECOND chance? Why didn't I listen to my head, my friends, my own intuition? Was I THAT desparate to be in love, or to feel loved? Or did she just trick me that well into believing she was a real person? I'm confused, lonesome, hurt, and lost- feel free to be brutally honest, say what you will. Please, no outpouring of sympathy. Besides that fact that I don't really know any of you (besides Ms. Hendrix), I don't need sympathy- I just really needed to get this off my chest. Now, I think I need a drink, but don't have someone to drink it with- sigh... Mark W.
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Heather
Jul 4, 2008 11:44:47 GMT -5
Post by Lorinth on Jul 4, 2008 11:44:47 GMT -5
well just hang in there dude, it's gonna be hard to let go and move on, trust me I know, I was in a relationship for quite a while, and some stuff came up and she kept pushing away from me, I never knew why, she never told me why it just happened. I thought she was the one for the rest of eternity I would be with, but even now I struggle with moving on. So Just stick in there for a little while longer, find things that get your mind off her, find friends to hang out with and have a great time you deserve it after the pain you're going through.
I know you didn't want sympathy or anything from us, but I feel for you, even if I don't really know you. I understand that you have loads of pain, but all you can really do is push on. If all else just try to relax
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Heather
Jul 4, 2008 16:03:35 GMT -5
Post by pineappleygoodness on Jul 4, 2008 16:03:35 GMT -5
Good thing I'm not one for sympathy, eh, bud? As far as the girl is concerned, it is ridiculous to try and blame you for the fact that she can not make up her mind. If you have confronted her about it, if you have done what you thought was right, then what's left is her decision, and my advice to you is to sit back and wait. If she decides that she has moved on, I'm sorry, truly. However, knowing from experience, painful experience, you'll bounce back and recover, everyone does. You're still young, and there will be others, not to say she still may not seen the light and come back to you. If she does, great! If not...you can't make someone love you. That right there was the worst thing I had to hear. Unfortunate as it is, it's true.
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Heather
Jul 4, 2008 17:41:48 GMT -5
Post by Lorinth on Jul 4, 2008 17:41:48 GMT -5
I agree whole-heartedly with that last post, but I would also say, don't make the same mistake more than you have to, it'll just hurt more the next time
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thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 5, 2008 12:39:00 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 5, 2008 12:39:00 GMT -5
Well, hey. I know it's past time to move on from her. It's just a sting, at this point. Actually, get this- her dad somehow got my SN, and IMed me, threatening me. "If you hurt my baby girl, I'll hurt you if you try anything." Pretty weak... Anyways, I'm pretty well over her by now. I worked with her last night, and I realized that I was trying to make something work that wasn't there. I did love her, and she might have loved me, but obviously it wasn't enough for her. Life goes on- cheers- Mark W.
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Heather
Jul 11, 2008 22:21:07 GMT -5
Post by xkendallxleighx on Jul 11, 2008 22:21:07 GMT -5
its good that you were able to get over it. its pretty stupid how she acted to be honest. all i can say is that its better she is out of your life because you dont need someone that is going to treat you like that, she sounded a little bit immature for you. i kinda went through the same thing last year with this guy (he was 20 and i was 16). but now im over it and getting along a lot better. and life goes on is the best way to live life. less hurt that way.
~kendall~
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thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 12, 2008 13:23:31 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 12, 2008 13:23:31 GMT -5
Glad to hear moving on works for us My main problem now is that she hasn't really done anything to make me mad at or dislike her, so it's hard to be around her at work- Mark W.
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Heather
Jul 13, 2008 23:26:57 GMT -5
Post by xkendallxleighx on Jul 13, 2008 23:26:57 GMT -5
well it is gonna be hard whenever you see her no doubt but you just have to remember what you went through and that will hopefully keep you from going back. the guy that i was with imed me a day or so ago and didnt remember who i was. that hurt me because of what we went through but at least i know now that i obviously never meant anything to him. all you need to do now is preoccupy yourself with someone or something else and just dont give her another mind. and if that doesnt work...then...well we can work on that if the time comes.
~kendall~
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thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 4:45:50 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 14, 2008 4:45:50 GMT -5
Yikes- that's pretty cold of him, not remembering you. I'm sorry that happened. And yeah- I've been working on the someone else (ask Frankie), but no luck so far- thought I had a great one, but she was taken. As for something, I work myself nearly to death (100+ hours a week) to keep my mind off things, but those hours when I lay down alone, well, they're the ones where it hurts, ya know? That's the last thing I need, but it's where I'm at- Mark W.
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 11:29:33 GMT -5
Post by Frankie on Jul 14, 2008 11:29:33 GMT -5
yea, I totally understand Mark and like I've said before, its gonna hurt. But everday little by little is starts to go away and eventually you'll be able to think about it, think of the goods times, although some were crappy, and be like,"well, that was fun. Kinda sucked but its over."
You'll move on soon, I know you will. Especially when you abandon us losers is Mo-Town and go back up to NY, you Yankee.
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 12:45:43 GMT -5
Post by xkendallxleighx on Jul 14, 2008 12:45:43 GMT -5
well at least you're working on it. but my gosh, 100+ hours a week...that is crazy. i work (this week) 34.5 hours and i think that's stressful so i cant even imagine 100. but i know what you mean when you say you lay down alone and it hurts. it sucks not to have someone there that cares about you. but hey, once you finally meet someone good it makes things a heck of a lot better.
so you work with frankie...how long have you known her?
~kendall~
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thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 13:01:03 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 14, 2008 13:01:03 GMT -5
Hah- you know you love me, Ms. Francesca Gail Hendrix :-p And don't disrespect NY, or I'll go Brooklyn on your arse Kendall- it's a trip. I do 35 hours a week at school, 35-45 at Lonestar, about 15 in travel between the two, and another 20-30 working on my own business. It's a very busy week! Thankfully, I'm working on cutting down at Lonestar (sniffle, Frankie) and picking up a serving (or maybe bartending, I hope!) job at another bar/grille. On the lonelysome part, I agree it's usually worth the wait, but as Tom Petty says, Waiting is the Hardest Part! :-p I've known Frankie for a few weeks now, but she's a great kid- I just wish I got to hang out with her more often! Anywho, where is Mo-Town (as Frankie called it) do you work? We should chill sometime, na? Mark W.
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 13:31:49 GMT -5
Post by Frankie on Jul 14, 2008 13:31:49 GMT -5
Its Gayle...and I hate my full name. >.< And yes Mark, much love.
You go Brooklyn on my 'arse' and I'll go Texan on your tail.
Aww, yes *sniffle* Mark, you actually make work more interesting. But fine, you want to leave. -_- I see how it is. But aww....I'm a great kid? Well thanks, grandpa, you're not so bad yourself. Yes, we need to hang out more, I'm sorry my parents are losers. You still owe me a racing lesson! ^_^
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Heather
Jul 14, 2008 22:27:37 GMT -5
Post by xkendallxleighx on Jul 14, 2008 22:27:37 GMT -5
oh ok. well that is still a lot of hours of doing stuff. yeah, hopefully you would get the bartending job, it sounds fun. ive always wanted to do that, be able to make drink sounds pretty sweet. so where do i work...i work at supertarget. im a cashier. i get to meet some pretty interesting people. but it has also brought some big pet peeves into light that i didnt know i had. haha. but the money is good so i cant complain. and yeah maybe we could chill sometime after i get to know you better. if you're ever on AIM just hit me up-xkendallxleighx...so what do you go to school for?
~kendall~
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thaduke2003
Junior Member
Mechanic, writer, server, driver, nut
Posts: 40
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Heather
Jul 15, 2008 1:22:13 GMT -5
Post by thaduke2003 on Jul 15, 2008 1:22:13 GMT -5
Frankie- you're a dork, but I love you anyway Kendall- I go to NTI for auto tech. I'm not one of those dorks who think NASCAR is the greatest thing since public nudity- GO FAST, TURN LEFT! Not my thing. I love cars, and I love working on them. It calms me, shows me my Zen. I hate the school- it's a waste of money- I'm on a lot of scholarships and grants and such- otherwise, it'd be ridiculous to pay that much for how little you actually learn. Either way, I'm trying to IM you, Kendall- wake up Buzz me at (845)492-1886- cheers Mark W.
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